PROTECTION, BEYOND AND THROUGH ALL TIME FOUND IN THE HEART OF THE WOODS
"His record shows no issues or complaints up to this point so we have decided in this case to believe him"
These paintings were stolen by a Royal Mail postie. What a crappy sentence to type but it's a precise summary of their fate. Spent a lot love making these paintings as a special commission for a friend, many layers of good mojo weaved in and sent off as they always send off: recycled packaging adorned with a multitude of marker pen cats. First class signed for no less, but alas the GPS pin at point of delivery was no hurdle for the fiend. The parcel was delivered miles from the correct address and signed mysteriously by the future known only as 'G'. Once investigation into the missing art begun the postie simply said he had delivered it to the correct address and the GPS must have been 'broken' that day. No answer for whom 'G' was. Royal Mail refused to try and reclaim the package from the bogus address and my only path was involving the police. Which I absolutely couldn't be fucked with after the nightmare of the Royal Mail complaints labyrinth. So the weird package you chored wasn't full of zany recreationals, it had some deeply personal art that can never be replicated or replaced. For that I hope your gearbox fails. If these hang on your wall then take them down and burn them because they have nothing to give you.
Sadface.